It's time to SHIFT gears, girl!
The Top 3 Things Holding you Back from Building Better Relationships:
1. You focus on YOURSELF more than you do on other people:
You talk about yourself/your interests more than you ask questions & LISTEN.
You think it's about YOU - which makes you feel insecure when meeting & getting to know new people. Make it more about others & you'll set yourself apart as someone who truly cares. Listen to people's needs & think of ways you can help them. This builds trust & relationships.
You are distracted when communicating - on your smartphone or scanning the coffee shop for other people, for example, when you're together...
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2. You AVOID human contact at all cost:
No seriously though, you look down at your phone while waiting in the grocery store line-up instead of interacting with others - you just might change someone's day by getting chatty in line or by offering a sincere compliment...and make waiting go quicker for you both! I've met the best people in line-ups and even done business with some of them!
You text, PM or email instead of calling friends, customers, clients, volunteers, teachers, coaches, etc - GET ON THE PHONE and make a real connection! I promise, it's worth it!
You put your to-do list ahead of maintaining connection with people. Block off one hour per week to invite a contact/friend to breakfast, coffee...or wine!
3. You tell yourself you are SHY...and believe it:
I hate to tell you, friend, but you're letting your ego run the show. Shyness is a huge ego trip! Even if talking to new people is difficult for you, you can do it. Start small and PRACTICE. Put yourself in situations that force you to practice...even if just making small talk with a colleague for 2 minutes. Do it...even if it feels uncomfortable! It will get easier.
You are believing lies (you're not good at conversation, you are too quiet, you don't know what to say, you don't like the sound of your squeaky voice! Whatever!). There are ways to overcome these false beliefs - book a consultation!
You make plans to attend functions with friends/colleagues and then bail last minute out of fear of having to face new people. Again, this is a matter of practice. You have got this. Force yourself a few times to get out of your own way and it'll become easier.
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